Dis da story o' Grag!!

[Longfeng]

Dis a good story so put down yer bag
I tell you story of orc-man called GRAG! Das me!
He good at swing ax an sing good too
He sing when he fite even wen get hit wit shoe!
Haa Ha hA Aha ah ha!
*a friendly slap on the back sends one of the patrons into a diving face-plant*

*with the next line he lifts the patron in the air helping him land a bit too hard on his feet*
Fodder sing good, he known by all
Hi travel an sing ‘til he hit a wall
Not his fault, orcs no like his song
Dey hit him an kick him all day long

Den me muddah see him bleedin’ an broke
She pulls dem orcs off him like it was no joke
Doze orcs ran away an my fodder lay dere
She took him in her arms an not no go where
So she take him home past udder orcs who laff
Den she stare ‘em down an ask, “Who want be chop in half?”

*aside* not really no if she said dat but it work wit story.

When he wake up he see shadow over him.
Long hair, it a woman with smell of clover-limb
He ask were da orcs go an’ she say, “outside.”
He say, “we still at inn?”
She say, “No, why?”
He say, “What wrong wit yer voice, you sick dis day?”
She say, “No, I always talk dis way.”
Den she move into lite an he see she orc too.
He jump outta bed an when he do
He feel all da pain an see black an blue
He fall on da floor an my muddah laugh
She say, “you need ta rest, later walk with a staff.”
He say, “What you do wit me? You crazy beast?”
She say, “I help you get better, you not my feast.”
He say, “Why? I not understand.”
She say, “Shut mouth an hold my hand.”

He get better an dey fall in love,
Den Grag come along an when push come an shove
Grag grow up an hear fodder sing.
Muddah teach him to fite an everything.

One day grag hunt an sing a good song
He nock down all maminals dat come along.

Den he see giant sparks in da sky
Dey pick him up an he feel like he fly.

Den he land real hard on ground hard like rock
Grag no wat fodder feel like when orcs give him a sock.

Deeze guys talk but Grag feel groggy
So he bang his head ‘til is eyes stop da foggy

He talk to da guys an like what one say
He say, “Join Ancient ones smart guy, today.”

Den Grag get treated like slave,
But Grag not take it, dat no way behave

When Grag ready ta nock guy down
Udder guy come in an he have on frown

He say, Grag not slave you dumb guy
You mix it all up you let him go or die.

Den Grag find himself in Sleeth
When he realize he still clenching teeth.

Grag hunt many rats an get lost of gold
‘Til woman call him and she semm real bold

She help Grag out by make him stronger
An Grag follow her ta look at her longer.

He follow her in ta shop where she take off cloze
He tell her she pretty den picks his nose.

She not care she try on new stuff in store
Grag tell her he like her better before.

She ask him if he want hunt wit her
He say sure an he put down da fur (dat he was holdin’)

Dey hit lotsa statues dat wake up an turn black
Grag like de sound when axe hit wit a crack!

Some statues not wake up, even wen Grag shout
Dat wen udder guy come about.
Grag say Hi, me Grag while he pcik out some thorns
Guy say his name be eyes an’ horns.

Grag not see horns but see guy have eyes
So he just not worry and just smack at flies.

Dey hunt all day an hunt all nite
Den Grag gotta go but he say later he still fite.

Dey all say, “Bye” den Grag go to bed
Doh for Grag bed is wherever he lay his head.

Dee END!!

*the sound of crickets*

It over now!

*more crickets*

You clap NOW!!

*Grag bows to hesitant applause*

[Mr. O'Dearly]

Woot!! Its awesome lol!! I love it!

[mgrjebbo]

Well done Grag!

[lord_modred]

awesome!!! ive waited my entire life to see an orcish bard.
if you terrorize any halfling villages, write us a song about that as well!

[P. Fricebottle]

Watch it...

[Longfeng]

// hehe yeah thx. I thought it would be fun for RP!

[Blystos Re]

*applauds*

Simply fantastic!

[ihuntudown]

anymore of these songs coming?

[Longfeng]

Heh yeah, as soon as the server goes back up and Grag has more adventures.