Slayers of Illithids

[Shamed Monkey]

First ones ever (I think), and we did it twice in the same night. That picture happens to be the second time, since we didn't know the Ulitharid was final boss.

[Alkapwn]

Its a very nice robe he has. DD has a couple already .... not the first but congratz anyway

[Tsavong]

haha nice

[Fezz]

Wow, Gratz. Mean looking party you had going there lol. Never been that far in myself - good job.

[Korr]

Granted its dependant on what youre fighting, but I like the robes the radiant dragon drops better.

[Azeel3]

From the Chronicales of The Sandman:

It was almost the second friday nite of the month, the full moon drew near once more over Avendale where the Profiteers of WAR and Destruction would once more meet for beef and ale. I gazed out upn the large living hall of inn there where many of us had spent our childhood running up and down the mountain looking for treasure, and pretending to be a mighty warrior, wizard, divine preistess, or dark stranger, only to be run home by warriors like the hill bandit who some say still lurks deep within these woods waiting for some foolish child of a god ro goddess to wonder out alone.

Sorrow of PWND who's turn it was to buy the drinks by the way returned once more to our table in the middle of the floor where we could watch all sides of the building for trouble. Why did I even think of trouble for once spoken it would forever be unleashed.
"Mmmph" Sorrow said with a small hollow voice almost ghostly in retrospect. Being more killer than rogue he felt trouble faster than most, or maybe he was just lower to teh ground and could just plain feel it.

"THERE ARE MY FOOTMEN !" Torres {FoN} proclaimed as he swaggared into the light from teh cold darkness just beyond. I swear a thousand haunting eyes looked out upon any that venture into that inn as though there lives or their next meal depended upon the persons actions.
"Torres." I nodded wearily.
"Can I kill him this time please, please?" Sorrow said in a dead pitch only i heard as he passes me my dark brew.
"Why?" My rogue was nowhere what it should be and was half heard by those at the table easily, where the most trained of listener's would have to strain to hear one sound from Sorrow's lips.
"It brings me pleasure." He said with a bitter smile that chilled ones stomache. Truely he had developed a taste for blood these last few months, and looking at the large bag of loot at his chair Business was good.

"You, nor anyone else shall kill me anytime soon. I HAVE HAD A VISION !" Torres exclaimed to the room causing many to gather around in wonderment. Squishee made a loud slurp from his wine gobblet with his middle finger fully extended,his massive hands could crush a wind pipe in a blink of an eye, so the message was recieved quickly go away.

"Nay, I HAVE HAD A VISION! HELM HIMSELF SPOKE TO ME, and me alone !" Torres had them now the little girls ran to his magnifisant golden skin and white teeth as though the apple being presented were not posioned my pretty.
"Well holy flying monkies there kid thats just so special i think i need another drink !" Kissai was always a hard man to impress, and i should know I have been trying for the last 40 years
and I think I've heard him awe struck once, but that medusa did turn him to stone right after, yet that be another story.
"Is our Lord Helm not the most hansome of creatures you have ever beheld Torres ?"one of the fair avendale maidians asked. She had seen Helm with out his mighty helmet at an event some years back and as many young women will fell deeply in love.
"Nye...he does not compare to thine fair skin, or soft lips maidain." Torres kissed her hand softly and in return was granted a favor and a large blush form the wench.
"bbrragcht...." Sorrow who was known for his strong stomache unleashed a foul spoils from within his small belly, weather he had done so to kill themood or just mess with Torres he woould never say, but if one knew how to read people, you woudl have seen under his shadowy cowl a small evil smile.
"No love'en form Mcninja tonight ...heheeheee" Sorrow was truly a neutral soul tipping quickly to chaotic evil if I ever saw one.

"Alright are you men ready ?" Torres shouted.
"Sorry we didnt get the memo." Demolition man stated as he wolvenly bite into a leg of lamb.
grease filled his beard and huge hunks of lamb slured his speech.

"Helm has command me to destroy a new den of evil that threathens our fair lands. he himself appeared to me as I returned home after many a long and weary mile with a captured relic at my side. I walked proudly...." this is where you hear the record go screech.... and everyone with a life moves on, and I don't blame you at all.

"yadayada, yada yadayada, yada, yada yada yada yadaaya...Helm, yada yada yada yadaya Torres, ...yada wow Torres, Torres, yadayada yada yadaya...Treasure beyond belief..yada yada...gag...."He stopped talk, oh my word he actually stopped talking.

The Mighty Primarch of PWnD had used a finger version of his bigby's spell that he was working on for smaller foes liek duggars and what not. Well lets just say Sorrow was very watchful of Primarch after this was revealed.
"Did he say treasure? Torres nod if you said treasure, 'cause I like treasure" A small green mist escaped his index finger and attached itself with one evil claw hold to Torres throat, accomplishing somethign no one has ever done before brough silence to his lips.

"Hell if you do it again I'll by drinks for the whole of Avendale !" Sorrow exclaimed.
"...[censored]" Torres more mouthed the words than acually spoke of them out loud, and with that Primarch squeezed a little tighter.
"Focus Torres treasure...Treasure, talk to us please, oh yeah right forgot here have a milk." Primarch said as the green mist disappeared rom around his throat.
"Thank you, but I will celebrate after we return form our quest, until then I must partake in no pleasures."Torres said drinking from his canteen of blessed water.

"Whats this "we" stuff pally?" Kissai injected balancing a small throwing knife upon the point of his index finger. At this point Kolcapellie strummed his lier several quick times to denote laughter.
"Incase you might have forgotten Torres we of PWnD are just a tad to teh left of neutral, and way way off the mark of good. So where do you come up with this "we" stuff ?" Kolcapellie asked quite comicly.

"My Lord HELM the ONE TRUE GOD commands that I alone choose the most unforgiven, misbegotten, unscrewpulious, bunch of cut throats I could find by this eve' to come with me on a quest of yada yada yada for I Torres, yada yada yada yadaayaya." He just kept going on and on I guess that why most people never stick to being a paladin, two of them would never be able to communicate form more than a minunte at a time.

"WELL ?" Torres finally asked.

"You don't mess around, when you make enemies, you go for the best. If I where you , and for that I am truely thankful...let the house say Ahem !" I said quickly

"AHEM !" The roof was almost unhinged form the noise made that cold evening by this small crowd, but aye it bemore in jest than of any deep ill mannaner, but let any reader tell Torres different and he will be hunted to an early grave, and fear not Torres does not read anything that does not protane to any quest he is not on at the moment; I shall give him that much he lives for the now.

"I know you only speak with a jealious tongue, for everyone wishes they could be me." His arms extended in that manner his robes flowing (insert ric flairs theme music and imagine the walk to the center ring.) the light in his eyes as if he knew something that no one else did.

"You strike there one swift strike and we are rid of him forever Sandman no one will see pray for darkness my friend I am going in..." I grabbed my little friend Sorrow before he made a meal out of our meal ticket, and ended up hunted like Shamed a few months back.

"But wait didn't he say treasure? I thought he said treasure ?" Primarch insisted once more, but this time the message was penetrating even the thinkest of our party.Squishee could be heard form the large barrel of ale toteh large center table we occupied for soe reason that no one has ever been able to phathom. Every pair of shoes he has ever worn, within a week of putting them on made a squishee sound. it was like the squeek in ones chair or floorobards that one never knew where it came from nor how to get it out, it just was what it was, and that was that.

"grrrrrr.." Never handly little people with knives unless they know you can kill them first and quick, saves a lot of misunderstandings later. Sorrow did not like it but he held still.

"Well talk then!" Sorrow was more the inquisitor than a statesman. He said one word so quietly we barely heard it and once we had, we woudl wish we had never heard of it.

"...Illithids" Torres mouthed so lightly that it was if he had spoken the name of the NAMELESS ONE HIMSELF. The group went pale, that sickly creamy color that looks like chaulk dust.
"you and HELM are both crazy" REX said as he entered form the cold of nite to warm himself by the fire.

"Nye HELM said that I must lead the first group their for a wonderious prize...for treasure for all, yeah treasure for all." Torres said quickly

"Too Late several of the DD are claiming to have conqured this new relem of the underneath just this very week." (A) Rex (A) said coldly.

"LIES !" Torres had his sword out and casted a blessing upon it almost as fast as he drew it.
"HOLD." I swung my morning stars chain over his neck in a friendly but choking manner, and pulled the paladin pup in close.
"you do now want to end up as Shamed did a few months back before you can claim your treasure now do you?" I yanked the chain tight to reinforce the point of behaving badly would turn out badly in Avendale.

"Show of hands." It was the way things where done in PWnD. I nodded for I did not want to release Torres just yet. Kissai nodded,Sorrow nodded,as did demolition man and Kolcapellie, Primarch and Squishee took a little more convencing, but they finally nodded as well. Rex nodded.
"Good Good god...we need one more cleric to make this work, so who shall it be." Torres said motioning to the table to think and work with him in a david letterman sort of way.
"they don't have to be but so smart, just deadly !" Torres exclaimed.

"Oh well there is my bother and good friend Deus, he is deadly." Rex said with a sadistic smile.

Rex had gone over to the front wall where teh parroits where kept. Usually five or six birds sat in a neutral town in or around the inn or bind points as messengers. for a small sum of gold a few sentenes could be quickly learned as well as who to deliever the message too.
all one had to do was take the brid from the perch and leave the gold in his plate. the gold disapears, but he bird delievers the message to the person in question fairly quickly.
"Find... (A) Deus Ex Machine (A);" Meet us in the old barn just beyond the fallen city of Neversummer by 2200 hours my broher, Rex."
"Arrrk gotcha Long live MA !" The bird screamed as it flew off. The evil wizard that grew these birds to help pay for the much needed wayward houses for girls Garagoth was famous for, th enameless one who forever shall be forgotten felt all old warroirs deserved a warm place to sleep at nite.
"I hate those birds..."Torres said coldly.
"You dare the Gods, challenage the powerful Lords of the Underdark, start fights in Avendale, and feel compelled to command forces not aleinged to yourself in cause or belief; are you truely made pup of helm?" I asked.

"Sandman, to be a true paladin, one must belive in one's self and one's cause, no matter what.
and iI my friend Belive !" Torres was beginning to scare me now for nothing was more unpredictable than a true beliver.

Torres carried no torch , his ring held a strange mighty pure light that lead him. He said a true Knight has the power to find his way in the dakrness even without a clear path. From with in the old bard our party decended into the dark abbyis. Torres lead the way followed by Dues, and Sorrow, Kolcapellie, Primarch, myself, rex where the main body of this force, while Squishee and Demolition man brought up the rear.

"What is that noise?" Deus asked form the front of the pack, everyone stopped as did the noise, sorrow began to suspect foul play was about to decend upon us when Squishee goes my bad its me." He leaned to one side producing the noise that deus had heard frm the front of the pack.
"BY the Gods he will get us all killed !" Deus demand he be thrown from the party.
"No in my Dreams WE were altogether here , now , for this very reason to be the first to kill the Illithids." Torres tone was almost believable, almost

"but wait, I thought there was going to be treasure ?" Primarch said jokingly
"Aye pass the collection plate Torres i need ot make a with drawal !" Squishee proclaimed.
"Silence....we are not in a bothel, or inn filled with ale, we are on the battlefield, and as far as Squishee goes, if he gets you killed he'll ressurect you; but the next man or beast that makes a sond that does not begin or end with treasure, answers to my mighty morning star !" I proclaimed, thinking to myself one day someone is going ot take me up on this little bluff and I will have a really big fight on my hands...mmmm.

"Treasure, so there will be cake and treasure afterwards right Treasure?" Primarch was a man of few words and single minded determination.
"YES !" Torres shouted mcuh to the horrid looks we all gave him, for his alram warned a pack of angry hounds , blood red, standing more than ten hands high, these dark devils were more than a match for a poor wonder lost in the darkness of this cave system. It was said when the world was recreated the gods fought here and turned the entire underdark upside down, with a mighty battle that left many a wonderiousitem lost within its dark recesses.

Torres popped through a door that was half hidden inside the wall itself. We ran inside the doorway with angry hounds to our rear. blasts of flames and blue fire scored the archway and walls of this thick doorway to the next section of tunnels. thsi went on for a full nite and most of the next day. Three maybe four maps later we found ourselves upon the threshold of the Illithids.
"I know many of you doubt me, but here wwe are, and inside lay our destany."Torres was saying

"But Torres the Death Dealers say they have conqured this place many times before taking out the boss and all of the valuable treasures here." Rex said coldly, but no cold wind would ever burn out this paladins eternal flame, and with that he drew his holy sword and cast a powerful enchantment upon it, grabbing Rex by the throat, he said this one sentence before charging off like a madman.

"If your Death Dealers have what they claim, why have we not heard of their boosts and screams of glory before now ? LIES;.... I TELL... YOU ,....ALL LIES !" And with that he charged into a darkened area his sword drawn and slashing. A furious splash of light cut through the dakrness as his sword ripped into some foul evil thing, a horrid scream filled the air. The smell of drow blood got sorrow worked up into a killing frenzy.

I cannot tell you how many evil things died at our hand or how many times we all came close to certain death, but I remeber this clearly. we came to a room after many twisting halls filled with deadly underlings, durgers, drow, and worse, Sarde.

I can remeber form a distance seeing him after a hard fought fight screaming. his body covered in arrows, his right hand seveared at teh wrist by Torres sword. Rex fists pounding into the hollow shell that was once a mighty form.

I remeber Kolcapellie unleashing a might song that inspired all who heard it to charge forward like a heard of bulls, nothing in our path survived. Kassai, and Sorrow unleashed hail after hail of arrows upon one monster or another. Primarch over powered all that dare oppose his will. We found ourself in a room with the largest living brain that I have ever seen.

Now I understood why HELM wanted this thing dead, for if it got any smarter it might peirce through the vale of darkness and learn the secrets of the Gods themselves. From this thing sprouted one evil creation after another all bent on destroying us.

We had entered Ulithard's lair. It was a hard but well foght battle. the room was tight and
Ulithards might was weakned by Kolcapellie songs, squishee's harms, Rex's fists,Primarch igms,
Kassai and Sorrow's arrows. Torres, Deus, and myself had to be content to swipe at teh foul thing as it weaved about the room looking for a weak link to attack and finding only a stone wall of destruction.
"HEAR is our proof, I HAVE SERVED YOU WELL THIS DAY HELM !" Torres screamed after the battle was fought
"Mmhg thought there be more treasure..." Primarch said before he extinquished the torch's as we left.
-The Sandman

p.s. This tale does not reflect on the honor of any other adventure who may have braved this cursed realm,But Torres was told by Helm himself that he knew of no party that had conqured this new area yet. LEt this be the end and peace out -The Sandman

[Dalan]

'claps hands in applause'

Nice story! A wee bit long, but very entertaining and imaginative!